It has been three months since I wrote that post on Facebook. For the next week or so after writing that I sought to do something each day that made me happy. I knew that things were weird because of the pandemic, and that was going to have an impact on me. Remember what a scary chore it was to get groceries those first few weeks!
As helpful as those inputs were then, I’ve found that they’re even more important when the pace picks back up. As I mentioned a few days ago, I’m busier with work than I have been in a long time. And as great as that is, I haven’t been taking care of myself very well, and I find myself a bit burned out. I’m reminded that when things get hectic, it’s even more important that I say yes to the right things. It’s so important that I make time to do the things that truly fill my tank.
As I write this I’m on a 24 hour personal retreat. I began doing quarterly retreats years ago. They have become part of my routine, but I haven’t done one in awhile. It’s something I’ve missed. A retreat for me is about quiet and solitude. It’s a time that I go back to my journals and practice the discipline of reflection. It’s a time that I normally do some long-range dreaming and planning. And in the case of this retreat, it’s a time that I wanted to do some writing.
A few years ago I went on a bike ride, and I didn’t bother to take the time to check the air pressure on my tires. After all, they looked fine to me. If you’ve ever made this mistake, you know that my ride was way more work than it should have been. I learned that day that properly filled tires make for a fun ride.
I’ve learned through the years that my work can be rooted in rest or it can be rooted in striving. The results at first may be hard to distinguish, but over time it becomes clear. And much of it is determined by the current state of my soul. There are intentional things I can do that restore my soul just as there are things I can do that can deplete my soul. When my soul is depleted, it’s kind of like riding a bike with under-inflated tires. On the surface things look ok, but inside they’re not. And the problem is that you don’t know there is a problem until later. It wasn’t until I was on the last leg of my bike ride that I realized I was working way harder than I should have. It dawned on me then that I should have checked the tire pressure. That last leg was no fun to ride, but you better believe that every time since I’ve checked those tires.
So now I’m in the place where the pace is hectic. I’m juggling a lot of clients, we’re trying to make decisions as a family what school is going to look like, and Mandy is nervous about going back to the classroom. The pandemic and quarantine have impacted me just like they’ve impacted everyone else. In the midst of all of this, how will I care for my soul? What intentional practices will I do that all me to not simply survive but thrive during this time? These are key questions for a time such as this one.