Category: Spirituality

Parenting with Vision and Intentionality

Published by on March 6, 2023

I’ve been thinking a lot about parenting lately. My parenting journey began on June 13, 2005 when Adam entered our world. He is now a senior, and in less than six months we’ll be dropping him off at UT for him to begin his college journey. I pause to reread this last sentence and I admit that I have several different emotions. I’m excited for him. This is how things are supposed to go. But I’m also sad. It’s going to be so strange when he’s no longer living with us.

Parenting is no spectator sport. It’s the best job I’ve ever had, and it’s also been the most challenging job I’ve ever had. I’ve gotten a lot of things wrong. And I feel like I kind of stumbled into a lot of the things that I’ve gotten right.

One of my core beliefs during this parenting journey has been that God loves my kids even more than I do, and God is going to help them during those times when my best efforts simply fall short. That belief has been a foundation that has kept me moving when it seemed like I was on such shaky ground.

While I believe that there’s no way to be fully prepared for parenting, and that you’re going to get things wrong as much or more often as you get them right, I want to share two things that have helped me tremendously.

The first thing is Vision. Mandy and I were married for six years before Adam came along. During those times we were figuring out what it meant to bring two lives together. We moved across the country for grad school. We set up three homes together. We shared lots of adventures. And we also had many conversations about what we hoped for if we were able to have children.

One area that we talked a lot about was music. Mandy and I met and fell in love with music surrounding us. It’s always played a big role in our lives, and we naturally desired for it to play a big role in our kids’ lives as well. We imagined all of the different ways that music would surround our family, with an ultimate goal that music would play a large role in their lives as children but also as adults.

While vision is important, it’s not enough. We also need Intention. We have to make decisions that allow for the vision to be fulfilled. It means saying yes to certain things, and it also, perhaps more important, means saying no to certain things. After all, we can’t do everything.

We knew that there were two extremes that we could be guilty of. The first was forcing music down their throats so much that they ended up hating it. The second was simply doing nothing and just hoping that they vision would happen. We wanted to avoid both of those extremes, but we understood that in seeking to avoid the second extreme, we ran the risk of doing the first. But it was a risk that we were willing to take.

While both boys were little, our house was always full of singing. Mandy was a music teacher, so she had the goods. My guitar was always out. Singing silly songs was my specialty. Adam got his first drum set when he was two. It was a plastic set that didn’t last very long. He got a nicer one when he was three. Not sure this is something I would now recommend, but I guess it fit the vision. Adam’s favorite song at age 4 was “42” by Coldplay, which he called “The Ghost Song.” For Micah at that same age it was Mumford & Son’s “I Will Wait.” Both of those little guys would sing those songs at the top of their lungs. I remember it like it was yesterday. I’m just glad they had good taste in music at such young ages!

Both boys began taking piano lessons when they were seven years old. And when Adam was 9 and Micah was 6 we purchased a baby grand piano. This was an expensive investment into the vision, but it was one of the best purchases we’ve ever made. And to this day that piano is played by someone in our house every day.

During the pandemic the boys stopped piano lessons. To give a bit of accountability, Mandy offered to pay the boys $5 for any song they learned, and $10 for any original song they wrote. They both took her up on this offer, and as a result started playing even more.

So where are we now? Micah is in the American Music Ensemble at his school. He’s one of only two 8th graders who have ever been invited to join this high school rock band. He plays keys. And Adam has shifted to electric guitar as his primary instrument. He told me yesterday that he’s made some videos on the Ultimate Guitar website, and he has several hundred views. I think we’re at a point where music is going to be a part of their lives. We don’t make them sit down and practice. That needed to happen when they were younger, but it’s no longer needed. They play music now because they enjoy it.

This vision and intention has played a role in other facets of our family’s life. We’ve created rhythms around fun activities, travel, reading, sports, academics and faith. Within all of these vision would lead the way, with intention following closely behind.

I will admit that this last one is a tricky one, primarily because of that first extreme I mentioned earlier. When I moved to Memphis after being in California for several years, one of the things that caught me off guard was how many people I met who felt like religion had been shoved down their throats. There was so much hurt and trauma. And because of that they really wanted nothing to do with it. I didn’t want that to happen to my kids, but I also knew that doing nothing was not a healthy option. Once again, we had to risk the first extreme in order to avoid the second.

If I’m being honest, I’d say this one is a mixed bag. Our boys haven’t had some of the opportunities that Mandy and I had when we were teenagers. There aren’t that many kids their ages in our current church. But we’ve sought to supplement where we could. Mandy created a youth ministry collaboration with some other churches a few years ago. We’ve gotten involved with YoungLife at both of their schools. And we’ve sought to encourage our boys to get to know and have mentors from other generations. I’m so grateful for the men and women who have invested in our boys’ lives.

This weekend was a great parenting moment. I had signed up for a men’s retreat at our church. On Friday Mandy texted to ask if I had considered inviting Adam. The thought had crossed my mind a week earlier, but I had just assumed that he wouldn’t be interested. But I decided to ask. He was at school, so I just texted him. I told him that he would be the youngest one there, although he was closer to a lot of their ages than I was. (Yes, I’m one of the older ones at our church). Within about a minute he texted that he’d love to come with me. I was surprised but thrilled.

The weekend was a powerful one. He was around guys who are far from perfect but who are doing the work, and they were vulnerable in sharing about that work. Our retreat ended with writing and then speaking blessings over one another. When it got to Adam’s turn half of the group of men had written blessings for him. By the time it was my turn I was so overwhelmed that I could barely read the words that I had written to him. It was such a moving experience to have these men speak such powerful words over my son. And I believe that it will be an experience that will shape the rest of his life. As we were leaving he told me that he had never had a group of adults treat him like an adult instead of a kid. And when I got home that night Micah asked if he’d be able to go in a few years!

When I retired from vocational ministry a few years ago, one of the main reasons was that I was on the verge of burnout, and I knew that if I continued to live life the way I was living it, which was not working for myself or for those around me, then I was going to risk falling short in my primary job of being a dad. I knew I was coming to the critical teenage years, and I needed to be present and healthy. If I was a hollow version of myself, I was going to be unable to give them what they needed from me. That was one of the hardest decisions I ever made, but it was needed, and I’m thankful for the courage to make it. I’m grateful for these years. I’ll never get them back. And I’m grateful for this parenting journey. For those of you also on this journey, or for those of you who desire to be on this journey one day, I hope that reading this part of my story has been encouraging to you!

Why You Shouldn’t Worship People

Published by on November 30, 2021

One of my favorite shows on tv right now is Succession. It’s the story of Logan Roy, the billionaire owner of a media empire, and his four children, all of whom are vying for his love and attention now, as well as his throne once he is gone. The family has more money than they know what to do with, but they’re not happy. Life is not working that well for any of them.

In each episode the viewer sees just how much Logan’s children and employees hate him. He is simply a mean bully. A kind word out of his mouth is never true kindness – there’s always an ulterior motive. It’s no wonder that there is hatred for the man. What is shocking is that there is also love, awe, and a desperate attempt for approval from these same children and employees.

It’s shocking, but it’s really not that shocking. We’ve seen it before. It’s part of the human story. It’s the worship of man at its finest. Logan is on such a powerful pedestal for all around him to see. He’s placed himself there, but they too have placed him there. And once a person is in that type of position for those around him, destruction follows, and that’s the essence of what we see throughout this show.

I’ve also been listening to the podcast “The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill.” I was in seminary and then in the early years of starting a church during the 2000’s, and during that time I was definitely influenced by the work of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, along with it’s founder and lead pastor Mark Driscoll. I have known the story of what happened there over its almost twenty year history, but hearing it on this podcast has been an unsettling experience.

In my opinion, at the core of what went wrong there was the celebrity culture that so many church leaders strive to attain. But it’s not just about those leaders. Those in the church want it too. And it doesn’t end well. In interview after interview, you see the love for Mark Driscoll from those who were impacted by his ministry. And along with that love was so often that desperate attempt for approval. He could have channeled this into a different direction, but he too was desperate for approval.

This worship led to destruction.

I often think about the commencement speech that David Foster Wallace gave at Kenyon College in 2005. Here is an excerpt.

You get to consciously decide what has meaning and what doesn’t. You get to decide what to worship. Because here’s something else that’s weird but true: in the day-to day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship.
And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship — be it JC or Allah, be it YHWH or the Wiccan Mother Goddess, or the Four Noble Truths, or some inviolable set of ethical principles — is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive.

The rest of the speech is worth your time to read or listen to, but this is the big part for me. People are not meant to be worshipped. And when I say “worship”, I don’t mean sing songs to or bow down to. As Wallace says, it’s all about where you get ultimate meaning. Humans were never meant to give ultimate meaning to a person. And when it happens, it doesn’t end well.

One note…While a lot of Driscoll’s behavior has made me sick, I don’t put him in the same evil monster category as I do Logan Roy. However, I find myself thinking about these things as I listen to both stories. And I think there’s something we can learn from both.

Reading the Bible

Published by on October 12, 2021

A couple of months ago I decided that I wanted to try to read the entire Bible in a year. I wanted to come back to this beautiful yet complex book with new eyes. Like many, I have a complicated relationship with the Bible. I’ve been reading it all of my life, yet there have been times when I have had to step away from it. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that the Bible has been used throughout its history to justify some pretty jacked up things. Through the years this book has helped me grow closer to God, but at other times it’s played a role in me wanting some distance.

Despite all of this, I found myself wanting to revisit it, and I decided that I’d like to try to read the entire thing. This is something I’ve tried before, and I’ve never made it through. Most Bible reading plans start in January with Genesis. The last time I did this, I made it through the Pentateuch (the first five books of the Hebrew Bible). I got through Joshua and Judges, and then I began to make my way through the glory days of Israel’s history, which centers on the story of David. I’ve always liked David’s story, so this was pretty easy. It was Kings and Chronicles that did me in. There’s lots of repetition, and I got fatigued and quit.

This time I’ve done three things to hopefully help me meet my challenge. First, I’m reading my favorite Bible – The Daily Bible in Chronological Order. What I love about this Bible is that it’s divided into 365 daily readings, but it’s in chronological order, at least according to the editor. There is also a lot of historical and cultural commentary that I find super helpful.

Second, I decided to start two months ago rather than waiting until January. This meant that I began with Ezekiel, a very complicated book. I’ve read the minor prophets, which are sometimes tough to get through. I also made it through the large book of Job, which gave me a lot to think about. I’m about to finish the Old Testament. There are then a few days that cover the intertestamental period and the impact of Greece and Rome on the Hebrew people. And then we start the New Testament. By the time I get to January and start Genesis, I’ll be almost five months in. I’ll have a good foundation, but I’ll also have developed a good habit.

Finally, probably the biggest key is that I’m not doing this alone. My friend Luke is going to be reading with me, and our plan is to meet weekly to discuss. Getting to talk about what we’re reading is going to be great. It will of course give some accountability to meet the challenge, but more than that it will be great for our friendship.

I’m going to use this blog to write from time to time what I’m learning and how it’s shaping my life. I’m excited to dive in and see where this takes me!

What to do with Stress

Published by on June 9, 2021

Alternate Title: That Time I Went on Vacation and a Tree Fell on My House!!!

Last week Mandy and I were on a relaxing vacation in Playa del Carmen. On Wednesday morning we were in the pool, and when we came back to our cabana to dry off, I saw that I had several missed calls, and lots of texts. The first text I read was from a tenant. It said, “Please get over as soon as you can. A tree just fell on the house!”

We gathered up our stuff and headed to the room. For the next few hours I was on the phone with tenants, contractors and the insurance company. A limb off the very large tree next door had fallen onto the porch. And when I say “limb”, it’s better to picture a tree, because that’s what it looked like.

The next day the limb was removed, and the day after that the damage was assessed and a plan was made.

But that’s getting way ahead of myself isn’t it. Wednesday was a rough day. Here I was on this amazing vacation, and now I was majorly stressed out. How would I regulate my stress so that I could do what needed to be done plus be able to actually enjoy the last couple of days of my vacation?

Each day since last Wednesday has been better, but I thought I would share some of the things that were helpful to me.

First, this was not the first time as a landlord that I had an emergency. I’ve owned rental properties for over fifteen years, and over that time three things have happened. First, I’ve learned a lot. My knowledge and experience has grown. What this means is that I understood the basics of what needed to be done. Second, I have ample financial reserves. I expect emergencies, and therefore I knew that though I wouldn’t necessarily like writing the checks that were going to be required, it wasn’t going to kill me financially. And finally, I’ve developed good relationships with people who know more than I do. I was able to call on some of those relationships to get things moving while I was gone.

And actually, my being in town when this happened wouldn’t have helped much. Sure, I would have been able to go over there immediately, but it’s not like I was going to break out my battery powered Ryobi Chainsaw and start cutting up the limb!

These three things helped immensely, but the fear and stress continued to creep in throughout the day. I was grateful that no one was hurt. A couple of inches more to the left and it could have been a lot worse, since one of my tenants was in the front bedroom when it happened. Those thoughts really weighed on me.

As the adrenaline wore off after a few hours where I had done all that I could do, the stress began to descend like a cloud over me, and this is where the real work was needed.

I think self talk can be a gift at times, but what I’m about to share is a bit different than just self talk. I had to go back to what I believed about God.

I’m always nervous about losing a reader when I bring up God, but I hope that you see that my faith is fleshed out in the messiness of life. It’s not a bunch of platitudes or rules. It’s about a relationship, and if that relationship does not evidence itself during moments of weakness and challenge, I don’t think it’s much of a relationship.

I thought back to Psalm 62. It’s a Psalm written by David, and anyone who knows anything about David knows that he was a king, and kings know a bit about stress.

The Psalm begins, “My soul finds rest in God. He is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.” Who knows what he was dealing with at this moment, but he knew that it was actually possible for his soul to be at rest even as he went through a storm. That’s a pretty strong statement, and one that I was grateful to be reminded of.

It’s the ending of this Psalm that I thought about last Wednesday. David ends this Psalm by saying, “One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God are strong, and that you, O Lord are loving.”

This has been one of my favorite verses for a long time. What it says to me is that it’s one thing for God to be big enough to handle my problems and needs. It’s another thing altogether for Him to want to handle them.

Said another way, it’s one thing for God to be strong. When I think of God’s strength and power, I think about the creation and the sustaining of the world. I think about it in a macro way. It’s good to think about God in this way, but it’s not complete. God is the creator and sustainer of the entire world, but he’s also a father, and he loves his children. That takes the big macro view and hones it in to the very personal. God loves not only the whole world. He also loves me. He knows all about me. That’s huge.

As I reminded myself of these truths throughout the day, I began to experience peace. It’s in moments like these that I am so grateful for my relationship with God. I can look back over my life and see countless times when he took care of me. When I reflect back over that time, it makes it easier for me to place my trust in him today.

It’s Supposed to be Hard

Published by on May 12, 2021

I shared in a post a couple of weeks ago about a time in my life that was really hard. Though I would never choose to go through something like that, I’m so glad that it wasn’t wasted. It taught me that life is going to knock you down. There are going to be moments when you have to make a decision on whether or not you are going to get up. You’re going be tested beyond what you thought was possible. In summary, life is going to be hard. And it’s supposed to be hard.

Several years ago Mandy and I had the opportunity to go to the National Gallery of Art in Washington, D.C. I remember being impressed and moved by what I saw, but what has had a significant and lasting impact on me were four paintings by Thomas Cole called The Voyage of Life. These paintings portray four distinct seasons of a man’s life. The first is Childhood.

Thomas Cole (American, 1801 – 1848 ), The Voyage of Life: Childhood, 1842, oil on canvas, Ailsa Mellon Bruce Fund

You see immense joy as the child is experiencing the beauty of the world. The second painting is Youth.

Thomas Cole (American, 1801 – 1848 ), The Voyage of Life: Youth, 1842, oil on canvas, Ailsa Mellon Bruce Fund

Here the young man finds himself on his own for the first time. There doesn’t seem to be much fear. Just excitement as he steps into an adventure. The third painting is Manhood. And in case you weren’t sure, this was the one that stopped me in my tracks.

Thomas Cole (American, 1801 – 1848 ), The Voyage of Life: Manhood, 1842, oil on canvas, Ailsa Mellon Bruce Fund

The joy of the child and the excitement of the young man are both gone. It’s dark and it’s scary, and this man is just praying that he won’t die. What a shift, huh! I was going through this intense and challenging time when I saw this. I was in my mid-30’s. We had young kids. I was the pastor of a young church. We didn’t have much money. And I was embarking on a new business. This painting captured what I had been feeling.

Our family started reading the book of James together a couple of weeks ago. I encouraged us all to memorize James 1:2-3. This has been an important passage of Scripture to me for a long time. Here’s what it says…

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

This is such a good word. Our trials and challenges are not wasted. It’s possible to not simply go through them but to embrace them with joy, not because we’re masochists but because we know that there is nothing else in life that makes us better and stronger. How would you like for your life to be characterized by the phrase “mature and complete, not lacking anything”!

It will never happen without a fight. It will never happen by simply coasting through life. It only happens when we embrace the truth that life is going to be hard.

The even bigger truth for me is that I don’t have to go through it alone. My faith in God is what has gotten me through these challenging times. When I’ve been alone in that boat, being tossed by the waves, I’ve known that I wasn’t truly alone. The God who has guided men and women through those same treacherous waters has guided me, and he’ll continue to guide me. And that gets us to the final painting: Old Age.

Thomas Cole (American, 1801 – 1848 ), The Voyage of Life: Old Age, 1842, oil on canvas, Ailsa Mellon Bruce Fund

When I see this painting, I think of Paul’s words to Timothy, found in 2 Timothy 4 and most likely penned shortly before he was beheaded under the orders of Emperor Nero…

For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time for my departure is near. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness…

The fact that we have this fourth painting tells us that the man praying desperately in that third painting made it out alive. He went through the challenge, pain and loss that is found in life. He did the work, and I hope that he feels the reward.

Formative Books – Spirituality

Published by on March 4, 2021

It’s fun to go back in time and reflect on the books that have shaped me most through the years. Like the previous post, this list is in the order of when I first encountered them. I must say at the start that this was a difficult list to settle on. Being that much of my adult career was in vocational ministry, reading books on spirituality was part of my job. And so I’ve read a lot of great books during that time.

I also want to point out the fact that I’m aware that all but two of these books were written by white men. When I recognized that, there was a part of me that didn’t want to write this blog post, both because I felt a bit of shame because of that, but also because I feared being judged by others. I guess I got over that. I share this post in part because I can’t change my past. Each of these authors impacted me in profound ways. I’m so glad that I read each one of these books. I do wish that my exposure had been broader, and I know that this hope can impact how I move forward with my reading.

First up is No Compromise: The Life Story of Keith Green, by Melody Green. I first read this book in high school, and for the next few years, I would share this as my favorite book whenever I was asked. If you’re unfamiliar with Keith Green, he was an uber talented musician who was also a very passionate follower of Jesus. He, along with two of his children, tragically died in an airplane crash. It was his passion that caused me to see the Christianity that I had grown up with in a new light.

After college I had the privilege of helping to start a new church in Nashville. A little over a year in, Mandy and I got married, and it was such a wonderful community for us to begin our marriage in. We were a part of a small group there, and The Life You’ve Always Wanted, by John Ortberg, was one of the books that we read together. As you can see, the subtitle is “Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People.” At the time, I didn’t know much about spiritual disciplines, but I certainly didn’t think they were for ordinary people. This book not only opened me up to spiritual disciplines, but it also gave the opportunity to practice these together as a community.

The Silas Diary, by Gene Edwards, is the first of five books that tells the story of the early church. There’s a lot of reading between the lines in these books, but these books changed the way I thought about the Bible. I read these during my final months in Nashville before we moved to the bay area so that I could go to seminary. It was an exciting time of dreaming, and these books helped to shape those dreams.

Today, when someone asks me what my favorite book is, without hesitation I say The Divine Conspiracy, by Dallas Willard. I’m not alone in this. This book opened me up to Jesus and his kingdom in a way that few other books have. Willard isn’t the easiest author to read, but the reward is well worth the effort. I’ve read just about all of his books, and all are excellent.

I was first exposed to John Perkins through CCDA, when my friend Ryan and I went to New Orleans for their annual conference. When I got back I bought Let Justice Roll Down, which is John Perkins’ autobiography. I knew the history of injustice that African Americans had faced, and I knew a bit about the Civil Rights Movement. But this book caused me to see it in a new way. Perkins grew up and lived much of his life in the Jackson, MS area. This isn’t too far from where I was born. I still remember that what hit me so hard reading this book was realizing that some of the unjust treatment that he faced happened after I was born. It wasn’t simply something that had happened long ago. It was still happening. That changed the way I thought about race relations and injustice.

The Ragamuffin Gospel, by Brennan Manning, is one of the most beautiful books that I’ve ever read. The subtitle is “Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out”, and good news it truly is. It’s probably the book I recommend most to those who are interested in coming back to the faith that they grew up with but later rejected.

Mandy and I listened to Walking with God, by John Eldredge, on a road trip to Florida almost thirteen years ago. It wasn’t so much that it was new material, but it couldn’t have been more timely. I was in the middle of a challenging time in my life, and I really needed to hear these words. And what were those words? That God’s desire is for us to be near him and to be able to talk to him. Come to think of it, I need those words today as well!

Some of my buddies like to say that I have a man crush on Mark Sayers, author of The Road Trip that Changed the World. I think they’re right. I’ve read everything that Sayers has written. This was the first, and it’s still my favorite. Sayers has a way of bringing God, culture and history together in a way that I’ve seen few other authors accomplish. I highly recommend his work.

In Christianity, the crucifixion of Jesus is central to our faith. But there are so many theories on what happened, and why it’s important. N.T. Wright’s book, The Day the Revolution Began, has helped me the most in understanding the significance of this moment.

In May, 2018, I kicked off my three month sabbatical with a silent retreat at Our Lady Queen of Peace retreat center. On the first day I was perusing the library, and I came across Everything Belongs, by Richard Rohr. At the time I had heard of Rohr but had never read anything by him. By the next morning I had finished it. This was another one of those very timely books. I couldn’t put it down, and I took pages of notes on it. I highly recommend it as well as silent retreats.

I hope those of you reading this find one or two books to add to your reading list. Reflecting on this makes me want to reread quite a few of them.

Life Design – a Theological Perspective

Published by on February 16, 2021

As I wrap up this series on Life Design, I thought I would write one final post that fleshes out a theological perspective for all of this. I get that some might want to push the pause button now, thinking I’m about to get religious on you. I do hope you’ll indulge me for a few minutes to read this entire post. It might surprise you.

One of my favorite verses in Scripture is John 10:10. In that verse Jesus says, “The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy; I have come so that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

In the English language we have one word for Life. However, in the Greek language there are three. There’s the word Bios, which is physical life. If you’re breathing you have Bios. There’s also the word Psyche, which says that we’re more than bodies – we also have emotions. We have a soul. And then there is the word Zoe. It’s my favorite Greek word. It’s more than simply being physically alive. Have you ever heard the phrase, “breathing but dead inside”? Now we’re getting to Zoe. It’s the word that Jesus uses in this verse.

When I think about Zoe I think about words such as abundance, fullness, freedom, fulfillment, meaning, purpose, satisfaction & wholeness. In this verse Jesus says that he came to bring this kind of life – not simply going through the motions but being fully alive!

Here’s the tricky part with this. Jesus’ vision of life is often counter to what our culture offers up as the path to good living, and one must take a careful look at exactly what he or she is pursuing.

Jesus gives some insight on this in Matthew 7:13-14, when he says, “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”

These words from Jesus tell us a few things. First, there are two paths that people take, then and today. One leads to life and one to destruction. When you hear this word destruction, think of it in terms of waste and regret. We all know those feelings. Second, most people take one path over the other. Third, and this is the concerning one, the one that most people take isn’t the one that leads to life. It’s the one that leads to waste and regret. The final takeaway is that since most people aren’t dumb, there must be something deceptive going on here!

Do you remember the premise behind The Matrix? Neo has sensed for awhile that things are not as they seem in the real world, but the revelation comes once he meets Morpheus, who sheds light on the reality of the Matrix. Those in the Matrix look normal, but in reality they are slaves. That’s obviously concerning, but the even bigger concern is that they have no idea that they are slaves! They think they’re free, but they’re not.

The world that we live in today is a system. Maybe not like the Matrix, but it’s a system nonetheless. And we can be slaves to this system if we’re not careful. Our system is rooted in power, greed and lust. It’s all about more, more, more. The good life comes when we have more – consume more and experience more, and then you will be happy. So that’s what we do. Our economy operates on this, and it’s doing quite well!

But are we doing quite well? Is it working for us? Is it leading to Life?

A few years ago I read a book called For the Love of Money: A Memoir, by Sam Polk. It’s the story of a guy who is pursuing the good life. If the world said it would make him happy, he went after it. And he got it: money, power, prestige, women. He thought these things would make him happy, safe and important. But at the end of the day, it left him empty. It crushed him. He knew that there had to be something more. So he began seeking. Here’s what he said:

I was twenty-seven years old, on the verge of becoming a multimillionaire. It’d made it. I’d achieved. My life looked exactly like I’d wanted it to look. And with a sinking feeling of horror, a question that had been sitting on the periphery of my consciousness stepped forward into the light. So why am I so miserable?

Reading this, I’m reminded of another instance where Jesus talks about the one who gains the whole world but forfeits his soul. Maybe that sounds extreme to you. But think about what Bilbo Baggins once said: “I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.” That’s not as extreme is it? I know I’ve felt that way before. Forfeiting your soul isn’t a one time thing that sends you to hell.

I think that’s one of the places where Jesus is misunderstood. If you’ve spent any time in church it is easy to come away with the idea that all he cares about is getting you to heaven when you die. When I read Jesus I don’t come away with that. I do think our eternity is important, but I see Jesus very much caring about our lives today. And I believe that he wants to teach us how to live our lives in a way that is counter to what the world says is the good life. And it’s not because he wants to deprive us from our fun. It’s because he wants us to experience true Life.

I realize that throwing the Bible into this conversation might cause some to dismiss these thoughts on life design. I admit that there have been times where I wanted to distance myself as well. But I continue to come back to Jesus as the one who modeled Life better than anyone else before or since. His life and teaching is the foundation for how I seek to live my life.

Pt. 1: Life Design 101
Pt. 2: Rest and Responsibility
Pt. 3: Scaling vs. Simplicity

Whose Side is God On?

Published by on November 13, 2020

I first came across the following prayer a little over a decade ago in a book by Alan Hirsch and Michael Frost.

Oh God, our Heavenly Guide, as finite creatures of time and as dependent creatures of Thine, we acknowledge Thee as our sovereign Lord. Permit freedom and the joys thereof to forever reign throughout our land. May we as ________ forever have the courage of our convictions that we may always stand for Thee and our great nation. May the sweet cup of brotherly fraternity ever be ours to enjoy and build within us that kindred spirit which will keep us unified and strong. Engender within us that wisdom kindred to honorable decisions and the Godly work. By the power of Thy infinite spirit and the energizing virtue therein, ever keep before us our oaths of secrecy and pledges of righteousness. Bless us now in this assembly that we may honor Thee in all things, we pray in the name of Christ, our blessed Savior. Amen.

The blank is there because I wanted you to read this prayer in its entirety before knowing who the person was who was doing the praying. This prayer was prayed on June 7, 1964 at Boykins Methodist Church in Raleigh, MS. The person praying was Sam Bowers. This was a gathering of the Ku Klux Klan of Mississippi, and Mr. Bowers just so happened to be the Imperial Wizard (the fill in the blank word is “klansmen”).

I share this story because Mr. Bowers believed that what he was doing was ordained by God. He believed, in a sense, that he was on God’s side, which meant that those who opposed him were on a different side. It’s been almost six decades since this, and in that time most humans today would say that his theology was quite warped.

There is a real danger in presuming that you are on the side of God. In fact, during Jesus’ three years of public ministry, his harshest words were directed to the religious leaders who thought they were right and everyone else was wrong. The Kingdom he preached and ushered in is often called an upside-down kingdom. Over and over again he said that those who think they’re in might not be in, and those who never thought they had a shot are probably closer than they realize.

I have been so disheartened and frustrated over the last few days because of the response I’ve heard from evangelicals. It’s one thing to choose a political side because you line up with its values more than those found on the other side. And it’s perfectly understandable to then be disappointed when your candidate doesn’t win. It’s an entirely different thing to assume that God has also chosen that side.

In the past week I have heard people I have known and respected throwing out a lot of end times jargon. I’ve definitely heard more talk about the antichrist than normal. I fear that these folks are getting more militant by the day. I’ve also heard people talk about the fact that God is still on his throne despite the fact that their candidate lost. I have a great deal more respect for these people, but I feel that it too makes a dangerous assumption.

It’s not my intent to offend those who think differently from me. I write this because my greatest concern is that this behavior creates an unnecessary stumbling block for those who aren’t quite sure what they believe about God. And I once again think back to Jesus’ harsh words to those who prevent others from getting near him.

Over the years I’ve done some study on the roots and history of evangelicalism. What marked evangelicals in the beginning was a high regard for Scripture, the belief that our need for true heart change comes not from ourselves but from something outside of ourselves, the belief that that “something” was Jesus’ life, death and resurrection, and the belief that the fruit of this change is to be a part of God’s redemptive work.

If these were still the marks of evangelicalism, I could wholeheartedly get behind them. But they’re not. A fifth mark of conservatism has been added, and I feel, at least in a frenzied election season (which actually seems to never end) that it has become primary. And the problem is that as it becomes primary, these other marks naturally fade.

Going back to Jesus, here’s a troubling thought: those who most thought about and longed for the Messiah’s coming were also those who most missed it.

Even as I write that, I do not primarily point my finger at others. I know that I am guilty of missing it as well. It is my human nature to desire to craft God in my image. Even as I write this, I recognize that some of my thoughts and words stem from my frustration and sadness. My hope is that I daily seek to walk in humility and am quick to acknowledge those areas in which I fall short.

One of my favorite quotes comes from N.T. Wright. He says…

There’s something that I think I’m right about that I’m actually wrong about, and I’m not sure what that is.

I pray that I never grow beyond this.

Jesus often uttered the phrase, “He who has ears to hear, let them hear.” He did this because he knew that there would be many who would miss what he was doing. I pray that our hearts and minds would be open, and that we too would have ears to hear.