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Robert Grisham Posts

12 Week Year – Reflections

A few years ago I read The 12 Week Year, by Brian Moran and Michael Lennington. At the time, I picked up some good tips, but I didn’t take it farther than that. Towards the end of 2020 I heard Brian Moran interviewed on a podcast, and I decided to pick the book back up. Better still, I decided to put the system into practice.

If you’re not familiar with this book, the idea is that while having annual goals is better than having no goals at all, there are some real drawbacks with annual goals. We all know the feeling of setting annual goals in January, yet not feeling any real urgency since we have so far until the end of the year. It’s why in the fourth quarter we actually get a lot of stuff done. The 12 Week Year isn’t simply quarterly goals. It’s treating those 12 weeks as a year, with goals, strategies, and celebrations. As the authors say, “Twelve weeks is long enough to get things done, and yet is short enough to create and maintain a sense of urgency.”

This made a lot of sense to me, so I decided to give it a try. I set a few goals, some dealing with work and some with self-care. The two self-care goals were to read ten books and to do 48 sessions of cardio. I’m happy to report that I exceeded both of these goals. I track my reading with Goodreads, and last night I finished my fifteenth book. I set up a spreadsheet to record my cardio, and yesterday I recorded my 53rd session. The majority of these sessions was spent on a treadmill, though lately it’s been more bike riding or outdoor walks/hikes.

My other set of goals dealt with my work. I came into 2021 with several construction projects that had just begun. The first goal was to have 1176 Sledge Ave finished and on the market. I’m going to miss that goal by a week or two, but it’s mainly because we ended up doing more to the house than we first thought, which simply means a longer renovation period. The second goal was to be finished with our new construction project at 909 N. Avalon St. I underestimated this badly. We’re probably six weeks away from that being finished. This meant that my third goal, beginning construction on our second build, also did not happen. New construction is a brand new thing for us, so those were both overly optimistic goals. No harm, no foul. The last goal was to have 1195 Dorothy Pl under contract. That happened. I also bought and then sold another house during this time, and listed and got under contract a project we did a year ago, so all in all I’m happy with where I landed at the end of the 12 Week Year.

The last goal I had falls somewhere between self-care and work. It’s blogging. I set a goal of one post per week. This is my tenth post, so I fell short just a bit. Writing is something that I want to get back in the habit of doing, and while I have enjoyed blogging these last few months, I am definitely still trying to find my rhythm.

Now for some reflections…

  1. With both of the self-care goals, the key was setting the goal, but then also having an easy way to track it. I’m going to continue tracking my cardio activity, but with the weather as awesome as it is, I will most likely set a little higher goal for this next 12 Week Year. And with reading, I’m inspired to set an overall 2021 goal of averaging a book per week. I’ve never done that, but I think it’s very possible. Goodreads has been a huge help with this.
  2. I think the reading goal and the blogging goal can actually shape one another. It’s one thing to read a lot of great books. It’s another thing to take the time capture key ideas and reflections. I’m not always as good at that, but it’s something I want to get better at. For this next 12 Week Year I’m going to write some blog posts on key takeaways from some of these books.
  3. The new construction part of my business is way more passive than the renovation part. The reason is that we hire a builder to do everything. It’s actually pretty fantastic. My goal for this first 12 Week Year should have been to implement systems for the builds moving forward. That is a goal that I was able to accomplish. We spent time getting set up with the vendors that our builder uses. We selected products for this build that we will no doubt use for future builds. This will allow the next projects to be even more passive than the first one.
  4. I did not set any goals with my client business because I wasn’t sure what goals to set. That was a mistake. The goal I will set for this next 12 Week Year will have to do with the number of touch points I make each week with clients and friends. I’m really looking forward to making and accomplishing this goal.
  5. Finally, with a new 12 Week Year right around the corner, I’m able to start afresh without waiting until the end of 2021. That’s genius. I get to celebrate my successes and reevaluate my misses.

Formative Books – Spirituality

It’s fun to go back in time and reflect on the books that have shaped me most through the years. Like the previous post, this list is in the order of when I first encountered them. I must say at the start that this was a difficult list to settle on. Being that much of my adult career was in vocational ministry, reading books on spirituality was part of my job. And so I’ve read a lot of great books during that time.

I also want to point out the fact that I’m aware that all but two of these books were written by white men. When I recognized that, there was a part of me that didn’t want to write this blog post, both because I felt a bit of shame because of that, but also because I feared being judged by others. I guess I got over that. I share this post in part because I can’t change my past. Each of these authors impacted me in profound ways. I’m so glad that I read each one of these books. I do wish that my exposure had been broader, and I know that this hope can impact how I move forward with my reading.

First up is No Compromise: The Life Story of Keith Green, by Melody Green. I first read this book in high school, and for the next few years, I would share this as my favorite book whenever I was asked. If you’re unfamiliar with Keith Green, he was an uber talented musician who was also a very passionate follower of Jesus. He, along with two of his children, tragically died in an airplane crash. It was his passion that caused me to see the Christianity that I had grown up with in a new light.

After college I had the privilege of helping to start a new church in Nashville. A little over a year in, Mandy and I got married, and it was such a wonderful community for us to begin our marriage in. We were a part of a small group there, and The Life You’ve Always Wanted, by John Ortberg, was one of the books that we read together. As you can see, the subtitle is “Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People.” At the time, I didn’t know much about spiritual disciplines, but I certainly didn’t think they were for ordinary people. This book not only opened me up to spiritual disciplines, but it also gave the opportunity to practice these together as a community.

The Silas Diary, by Gene Edwards, is the first of five books that tells the story of the early church. There’s a lot of reading between the lines in these books, but these books changed the way I thought about the Bible. I read these during my final months in Nashville before we moved to the bay area so that I could go to seminary. It was an exciting time of dreaming, and these books helped to shape those dreams.

Today, when someone asks me what my favorite book is, without hesitation I say The Divine Conspiracy, by Dallas Willard. I’m not alone in this. This book opened me up to Jesus and his kingdom in a way that few other books have. Willard isn’t the easiest author to read, but the reward is well worth the effort. I’ve read just about all of his books, and all are excellent.

I was first exposed to John Perkins through CCDA, when my friend Ryan and I went to New Orleans for their annual conference. When I got back I bought Let Justice Roll Down, which is John Perkins’ autobiography. I knew the history of injustice that African Americans had faced, and I knew a bit about the Civil Rights Movement. But this book caused me to see it in a new way. Perkins grew up and lived much of his life in the Jackson, MS area. This isn’t too far from where I was born. I still remember that what hit me so hard reading this book was realizing that some of the unjust treatment that he faced happened after I was born. It wasn’t simply something that had happened long ago. It was still happening. That changed the way I thought about race relations and injustice.

The Ragamuffin Gospel, by Brennan Manning, is one of the most beautiful books that I’ve ever read. The subtitle is “Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out”, and good news it truly is. It’s probably the book I recommend most to those who are interested in coming back to the faith that they grew up with but later rejected.

Mandy and I listened to Walking with God, by John Eldredge, on a road trip to Florida almost thirteen years ago. It wasn’t so much that it was new material, but it couldn’t have been more timely. I was in the middle of a challenging time in my life, and I really needed to hear these words. And what were those words? That God’s desire is for us to be near him and to be able to talk to him. Come to think of it, I need those words today as well!

Some of my buddies like to say that I have a man crush on Mark Sayers, author of The Road Trip that Changed the World. I think they’re right. I’ve read everything that Sayers has written. This was the first, and it’s still my favorite. Sayers has a way of bringing God, culture and history together in a way that I’ve seen few other authors accomplish. I highly recommend his work.

In Christianity, the crucifixion of Jesus is central to our faith. But there are so many theories on what happened, and why it’s important. N.T. Wright’s book, The Day the Revolution Began, has helped me the most in understanding the significance of this moment.

In May, 2018, I kicked off my three month sabbatical with a silent retreat at Our Lady Queen of Peace retreat center. On the first day I was perusing the library, and I came across Everything Belongs, by Richard Rohr. At the time I had heard of Rohr but had never read anything by him. By the next morning I had finished it. This was another one of those very timely books. I couldn’t put it down, and I took pages of notes on it. I highly recommend it as well as silent retreats.

I hope those of you reading this find one or two books to add to your reading list. Reflecting on this makes me want to reread quite a few of them.

Formative Books – Money

I’m starting a new series on the books that have shaped me most. For this first post, I’m focusing on money. These ten books have brought both insight and inspiration to me through the years. Rather than listing them in order of most formative, I’m listing them chronologically, from when I first encountered them.

First up is Financial Peace, by Dave Ramsey. After graduating from college I moved to Nashville. My first job was a boring desk job, but I was able to listen to the radio while working. One day I found Dave Ramsey’s show, and I listened to it just about everyday. I bought a copy of the book and devoured it. It was from this book, and the radio show, that I learned to budget, to stay of out debt, and to invest in mutual funds. I opened a Roth IRA after reading it.

Next up is Rich Dad, Poor Dad, by Robert Kiyosaki. It was 1998 or 1999, and I was working for a financial services company selling mutual funds. The lady who was training me gave me a copy of this book. At the time my mind wasn’t ready for the radical vision of business that this book laid out. However, more stuck with me than I realized. This became clear as I began investing in real estate. One of the big ideas of this book is that you should buy assets that produce cash flow. For the past fifteen years or so Mandy and I have been buying rental properties (assets) that provide cash flow. At the moment we reinvest that cash flow back into the business, but at some point down the road (around nine years from now) we will start living off that cash flow.

Free: Spending Your Time and Money on What Matters Most, by Mark & Lisa Scandrette, is a wonderful book. I actually brought Mark in to teach on this at my church sometime after he wrote this book. It might have been the first book I read that equated time with money. You’ll see that theme repeated in a few other books.

I’m listing these next two books together. The Big Short, by Michael Lewis, and Too Big to Fail, by Aaron Ross Sorkin, both tell the story of the 2008 global recession. I have been fascinated by what happened a little over a decade ago. And has been said before, the best way to know the future is to study the past. A lot can be learned by what happened during this time. Both of theses books were made into great movies as well.

Money: Master the Game, was Tony Robbins’ first book in two decades, and, as Steve Forbes mentions on the cover, it is “a goldmine of moneymaking information.” It’s a thick book, but very readable, and totally worth the effort. The interviews at the end are absolutely incredible. His followup book, Unshakable, co-authored with Peter Mallouk, is also great, especially the final chapter.

I first heard about the FIRE Movement close to three years ago. FIRE stands for Financial Independence Retire Early. It has been a game changer for me. Playing with FIRE, by Scott Rieckens, is a great overview. The author shares his journey of learning more about this movement. He also made a great documentary that Adam and I went to see (back when we went to movie theaters).

Quit Like a Millionaire is Kristy Shen and Bryce Leung’s story of retiring in their early thirties. They’ve been traveling the world ever since. Or at least until COVID. It is both inspiring and very practical.

Finally, JL Collins’ The Simple Path to Wealth is a book that I’ve now read twice. I’ll continue to come back to it. He believes that we often make finances way too complex. Collins originally wrote this book as a series of blog posts for his daughter. I’ve found the content very helpful.

Lifeonaire, by Steve Cook, is a recent find for me. I first heard about this book on the BiggerPockets podcast. It’s another fictional story, and as you can probably guess, it’s a play on the word “millionaire.” Adam and I are reading it together right now. There’s so much in this book that I want him to understand as he prepares to go to college.

I hope that you find some of these books as helpful as I have.

Life Design – a Theological Perspective

As I wrap up this series on Life Design, I thought I would write one final post that fleshes out a theological perspective for all of this. I get that some might want to push the pause button now, thinking I’m about to get religious on you. I do hope you’ll indulge me for a few minutes to read this entire post. It might surprise you.

One of my favorite verses in Scripture is John 10:10. In that verse Jesus says, “The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy; I have come so that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

In the English language we have one word for Life. However, in the Greek language there are three. There’s the word Bios, which is physical life. If you’re breathing you have Bios. There’s also the word Psyche, which says that we’re more than bodies – we also have emotions. We have a soul. And then there is the word Zoe. It’s my favorite Greek word. It’s more than simply being physically alive. Have you ever heard the phrase, “breathing but dead inside”? Now we’re getting to Zoe. It’s the word that Jesus uses in this verse.

When I think about Zoe I think about words such as abundance, fullness, freedom, fulfillment, meaning, purpose, satisfaction & wholeness. In this verse Jesus says that he came to bring this kind of life – not simply going through the motions but being fully alive!

Here’s the tricky part with this. Jesus’ vision of life is often counter to what our culture offers up as the path to good living, and one must take a careful look at exactly what he or she is pursuing.

Jesus gives some insight on this in Matthew 7:13-14, when he says, “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”

These words from Jesus tell us a few things. First, there are two paths that people take, then and today. One leads to life and one to destruction. When you hear this word destruction, think of it in terms of waste and regret. We all know those feelings. Second, most people take one path over the other. Third, and this is the concerning one, the one that most people take isn’t the one that leads to life. It’s the one that leads to waste and regret. The final takeaway is that since most people aren’t dumb, there must be something deceptive going on here!

Do you remember the premise behind The Matrix? Neo has sensed for awhile that things are not as they seem in the real world, but the revelation comes once he meets Morpheus, who sheds light on the reality of the Matrix. Those in the Matrix look normal, but in reality they are slaves. That’s obviously concerning, but the even bigger concern is that they have no idea that they are slaves! They think they’re free, but they’re not.

The world that we live in today is a system. Maybe not like the Matrix, but it’s a system nonetheless. And we can be slaves to this system if we’re not careful. Our system is rooted in power, greed and lust. It’s all about more, more, more. The good life comes when we have more – consume more and experience more, and then you will be happy. So that’s what we do. Our economy operates on this, and it’s doing quite well!

But are we doing quite well? Is it working for us? Is it leading to Life?

A few years ago I read a book called For the Love of Money: A Memoir, by Sam Polk. It’s the story of a guy who is pursuing the good life. If the world said it would make him happy, he went after it. And he got it: money, power, prestige, women. He thought these things would make him happy, safe and important. But at the end of the day, it left him empty. It crushed him. He knew that there had to be something more. So he began seeking. Here’s what he said:

I was twenty-seven years old, on the verge of becoming a multimillionaire. It’d made it. I’d achieved. My life looked exactly like I’d wanted it to look. And with a sinking feeling of horror, a question that had been sitting on the periphery of my consciousness stepped forward into the light. So why am I so miserable?

Reading this, I’m reminded of another instance where Jesus talks about the one who gains the whole world but forfeits his soul. Maybe that sounds extreme to you. But think about what Bilbo Baggins once said: “I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.” That’s not as extreme is it? I know I’ve felt that way before. Forfeiting your soul isn’t a one time thing that sends you to hell.

I think that’s one of the places where Jesus is misunderstood. If you’ve spent any time in church it is easy to come away with the idea that all he cares about is getting you to heaven when you die. When I read Jesus I don’t come away with that. I do think our eternity is important, but I see Jesus very much caring about our lives today. And I believe that he wants to teach us how to live our lives in a way that is counter to what the world says is the good life. And it’s not because he wants to deprive us from our fun. It’s because he wants us to experience true Life.

I realize that throwing the Bible into this conversation might cause some to dismiss these thoughts on life design. I admit that there have been times where I wanted to distance myself as well. But I continue to come back to Jesus as the one who modeled Life better than anyone else before or since. His life and teaching is the foundation for how I seek to live my life.

Pt. 1: Life Design 101
Pt. 2: Rest and Responsibility
Pt. 3: Scaling vs. Simplicity

Scaling vs. Simplicity

The next topic in this series on Life Design that I’d like to give some thoughts to is on the tension between scaling vs. simplicity. Scaling is a fun word. When you have a business, the idea is to grow and expand. And the way you do that is to scale. Scaling your business simply means that you put systems and processes in place that then allow your business to naturally grow. It’s about automating and delegating tasks, hiring teammates, and spending money on marketing.

If you want your business to grow, you have to scale. But before you make that decision, you have to decide whether you want your business to grow. That may sound like a stupid question: Of course you want your business to grow! But I think it’s actually a really important question.

Here’s the question I’ve been asking myself for awhile: “What exactly do I want?” Here’s the truth: I’m very satisfied with where I am. More growth means more complexity, and these days I’m very much valuing simplicity. The tension is found in the principle that if you’re not moving forward, you’re actually drifting. I don’t want that.

A few years ago I went through Michael Hyatt’s Free to Focus course, and it made a huge difference in the way I organize my life and business. I began putting systems in place. Hyatt says that before you can delegate you have to automate, and before you automate you have to eliminate. The elimination and automation made a huge difference for me. You could say that they have helped me to scale.

One thing that you should know about me is that in my 20 plus years of working, I have rarely been managed by others, and I haven’t done a ton of managing others. I have been a solo entrepreneur in most of my ventures. In some ways that has made me into a jack of all trades, and perhaps in some ways a master of none. I’m good at a lot of things, and I enjoy doing most of those things.

I realize that I could hire people to do the things I’m not crazy about. That’s important. What is more important, at least to those who advocate scaling, is that I could hire people to do things I like, but which do not generate income. That way I can spend more time doing those activities that generate income. That makes a lot of sense, but it causes me to again ask the question, “But do I need to generate more income?” That is a life design question.

I don’t know where I first heard the story of the Mexican fisherman who met the American investment banker. Do you know this story? Rather than retell the story myself, below is the story from a site called bemorewithless.

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked.  Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna.  The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, “only a little while. The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The American then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos.  I have a full and busy life.” The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15 – 20 years.”

“But what then?” Asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part.  When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions!”

“Millions – then what?”

The American said, “Then you would retire.  Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

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I continue to come back to this story as I make decisions about my business and my life. As I said in the first post in this series, what I’ve been working on for awhile is designing my life, and then fitting my business into it. This is in contrast to designing your business, and then working to fit your life into it.

If the Mexican fisherman’s desired life was to sleep late, fish a little, play with his children, take siestas with his wife, and stroll into the village each evening where he would sip wine and play guitar with his amigos, and if he currently had that life now, why in the world would he change it?

Yet so many of us believe that the good life will only come once we retire. Plus, because of debt and the accumulation of too much stuff, we don’t believe that we can afford to do anything but work long hours.

When I retired from vocational ministry, I wasn’t retiring like most people retire. For one thing, I was only 43 years old. But the main difference was that I had another job. So now, instead of two jobs I’d just have one. But I also now had 15-20 extra hours in my week. Even more important, as I mentioned in the last post, I now had mental space that I had not had in a long time. This created a simplicity that I had not experienced.

Scaling is a powerful thing. My business partner has continued to encourage me to give some tasks up. There have been times that I’ve fought that, even though I knew it was the right move. In our real estate development business I’ve handed off more of the finances, we’ve set up systems for purchasing, and we’ve hired a construction manager. This has cost some money of course, but it’s meant that I can allocate those hours elsewhere, plus it means that we are actually functioning better because we’ve hired people better than ourselves for those tasks.

As I wrap up this post, know that I believe in scaling and growth. I just believe that you should ask some questions before automatically implementing these strategies. Live in the tension. That’s what I’m continuing to learn how to do.

Pt. 1: Life Design 101
Pt. 2: Rest and Responsibility
Pt. 4: Life Design – a theological perspective

Adam’s First Car

When Adam graduated from 5th grade Mandy and I put $200 in a savings account that would be the beginning of his car fund. We explained to him that when he turned 16 and was ready to purchase a car, we would match whatever he had to spend. I had heard Dave Ramsey once share that he did this with his kids, and I thought it was a great idea.

Over the last few years he has done a great job saving his money. He has developed a good work ethic, and started his own lawncare business two summers ago. We’re very proud of him. So a couple of months ago he started researching for a car to buy this coming summer.

A couple of weeks ago my Dad called to say that he was going to sell his 2005 Toyota 4Runner, and he wondered if Adam wanted to buy it. My immediate reaction was, “Yes!”, but I of course wanted Adam to make the decision. I didn’t want him deprived of the experience of shopping for his first car. He said he’d like to take a look at it, and so Pa Max drove it over for him to take a look.

I thought he liked it, but I told Pa Max that we would talk and let him know. About 20 minutes after being back in the house, Adam walked into the kitchen where Mandy and I were talking, and asked, “When am I getting my car?” I guess he had made his decision!

Today we made things official. Though he still has four months until he can get his license, he’s very excited.

He gave Micah a tour of it today. Micah is proud of his big brother!

Rest and Responsibility

Last week I shared the first of what I think will be four blog posts on Life Design. Today I want to share another piece to this. This is something that I’ve been thinking about for several years.

As you can see from the slide above, there are two axis: Rest and Responsibility. It’s my belief that all of us were created to carry Responsibility, but I’ve learned that this Responsibility is best carried out when it’s rooted in Rest. There are four quadrants that at a particular point in time we can be living in. They depend on the amount of Rest and Responsibility that we currently have.

When we have the proper amount of Responsibility, and when it’s fueled by the proper amount of Rest, then we are Healthy. That raises the questions, “What is the proper amount of Responsibility, and what is the proper amount of Rest?” There’s not one answer for that. It’s different for every person, and it’s different during different stages of our lives. What is important is that we don’t compare ourselves to others. Our capacities are different. The key to health is that we have the proper amount on our plate. Here’s the big thing I’ve learned about this: when you’re healthy, you know it. You feel fully alive!

The problem comes when we have high Responsibility but low Rest. When this happens, stress enters the picture, and we can easily become Overwhelmed. We all know this feeling. In fact, most of us live much of our lives in this place. And our culture champions us on in this feat: “exhaustion as a status symbol”, according to Brene Brown. We proudly wear our busyness as a badge of honor, and since work isn’t relegated to an office, it’s very tough to shut things off.

Our bodies cannot seem to physiologically get off the adrenaline rush in order to slow down. We battle to make the best use of every spare minute we have. We fear how things might fall apart if we slow down or stop, so we just keep going. We end our days exhausted from the endless demands being placed on us. We know we need to rest and recharge, but who has time for that when the _________ is hanging by a thread? Soon even our “free time” becomes filled with demands as we try to squeeze more “doing” into an already overburdened life.
Peter Scazzero

I think we all know what this feels like.

What happens when there is high Rest but low Responsibility? We become Comfortable. When I left my job as a pastor, Responsibility went WAY down. I wasn’t constantly thinking about how the people I was leading were doing. It was honestly pretty amazing. I had more time on my hands, but more important, I had a mental space that I hadn’t had in a LONG time. While it was a nice change of pace, I knew that having low Responsibility was unsustainable in the long run, just as having low Rest is unsustainable in the long run. I didn’t necessarily want the same level of Responsibility that I had previously had, but there were some things I was still passionate about, and I was going to need to figure out how to still do those things.

“Bored” is the best word I could come up with for the quadrant where there is low Rest and low Responsibility. You might wonder what the difference is between here and Comfortable. The key is that the things you are doing with your downtime aren’t truly leading to Rest. What we think of as rest is often not rest at all. We have to make sure that during our downtime we are actually participating in activities that truly fill our tanks. A little bit of Netflix and social media might be helpful when resting, but too much can end up having negative consequences. The key point here is that having low Responsibility does not automatically mean that you have high Rest.

One thing I’ve learned about this is that there is a vicious cycle at play here. Think back to the last time you were truly Overwhelmed with work, or perhaps even with life itself. You felt that you were running on fumes, and you found yourself desperate for real rest. In that moment the tendency is to think you can crash for a few hours or a few days, and then go back to what you were doing before. It is very easy to simply veg out. However, that may not get you to where you need to be. A deep state of rest leads you to a place where you are no longer striving, and there’s unfortunately no button we can push that brings us to this place.

As of this moment today, I’d say I’m somewhere between the Comfortable and Healthy place. I’m definitely no longer Overwhelmed, and I’m not Bored. My level of Responsibility is not what it was three years ago, but I think it’s at a proper place. Over the past year I’ve invested in a bit of coaching, and I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what I’m truly passionate about, and where I should invest my time. That has been fruitful work.

Pt. 1: Life Design 101
Pt. 3: Scaling vs Simplicity
Pt. 4: Life Design – a theological perspective

Life Design 101

A few months ago I was listening to a BiggerPockets podcast featuring Tarl Yarber. It was a great podcast for a number of reasons, but there was one line in it that stood out most. He was quoting a friend of his (Thatch Nguyen) when he said, “Most people build their business and then work to fit their life into it. Instead, why don’t you decide what kind of life you want to live, and then design your business to fit that lifestyle?”

Mic drop

I realized in that moment that I so resonated with this statement because it’s something I’ve been attempting to do for the last few years. I just didn’t have to vocabulary yet to describe it.

I first started thinking about life design a few years ago when I was debating stepping down as pastor of the church I had started a decade earlier. This was a difficult decision, but I knew that I wasn’t the healthiest version of myself. I was doing too much, and I was burned out. At the time I was making the decision, Adam was getting ready to enter the 8th grade, and I knew that I had five years before he went to college. I recognized that these last five years are pretty crucial, and I therefore knew that it was pretty crucial that I be healthy. I didn’t want to be a spectator for these years. I wanted to be present and active. Right then and there, I knew that my primary focus needed to be on my family.

This realization then caused me to ask the question, “So what do I want these five years to look like?” But I then recognized that there’s another question to ask before I asked this one? It’s this: “What do my sons need from me before they leave my house?” That’s a big question, and one that I needed to spend some time with.

At the end of the day, I thought about things in terms of time. Five years would pass quickly. And then another four would pass and Micah would be in college. Time was the most precious commodity. And I thought about time in terms of both quantity and quality. Both are important. When it comes to quality, it was less about me planning creative things for my kids and more about me being healthy so that I could give my best, not simply my left-overs. And side note…when it comes to quantity, I’m reminded that this pandemic has given me SO much more time with family than I could have ever planned for. And though at times this has been challenging, I’m very grateful for it.

I knew that I needed to spend some time developing a vision for my life. We are all taught to develop a vision for our business or organization, but rarely do we spend time developing one for our personal lives. How strange that is when you really think about it!

All of this thinking then led to a series of questions (side note – I love questions, as I find that one question leads to another question, often a deeper and more important question):

  • What does the culture say leads to happiness/prosperity? In what ways do I agree with this, and in what ways do I disagree?
  • What does a happy/successful/content/prosperous life look like?
  • If I had all the time in the world, how would I spend it?
  • Which is more important to me: more time or more money?
  • What does our family enjoy doing?
  • How much money do I need to make each year?
  • How many hours do I need to work in order to make that much money?
  • What does my ideal week look like?
  • Since Mandy has a more traditional work schedule, what is the value of a flexible schedule?
  • What makes me happy?

It’s been almost two and a half years since I made the difficult decision to leave vocational ministry. More than anything else, this was a life design decision. In order for my life to work the way I wanted it to work, I had to give some things up. This was one of them. As hard as it was to quit doing something that I had spent the previous two decades doing (and planning to do), it was the right decision. Asking these questions, and then making this decision, has led to a different kind of life. Stress has been at an all time low these last two years, I’ve recovered from burnout, and as a result I’m a healthier me.

Besides being more present for my family, I’ve also seen my business prosper as a result. And it wasn’t just about having more time. It was also about having more mental and emotional margin. I’ve written about this before, but I will say it again: margin often means that I see and take hold of opportunities that could be easily missed if it weren’t there.

Over the coming weeks I’m going to write at least a couple more posts dealing with what I’ve been learning about life design.

Pt. 2: Rest and Responsibility
Pt. 3: Scaling vs. Simplicity
Pt. 4: Life Design – a theological perspective

What I’m Learning

I’m starting a new blog series highlighting some of the things I’m learning. I’ve discovered that as an Enneagram 7 I move to Enneagram 5 in health. I love going deep with a topic that fascinates me. That happened with this first one in particular.

  • 1996 Mt. Everest Disaster – I finished reading Jon Krakauer’s Into Thin Air. I also read several articles and watched a documentary, a reality series and the 2015 movie. It’s a tragic story.
  • Lifeonaire, by Steve Cook – I read this book in 2 days. It’s a fable, which means that at times it’s a bit corny. But it’s a great book about life design. I’m working on a blog series on life design. It’s a topic that has been deeply impacting me. This book helps you to ask some very important questions.
  • The 12 Week Year, by Brian Moran – I first read this book a couple of years ago, but I decided to revisit it in the last couple of weeks. It makes such great sense that when we set goals that are to be fully accomplished 12 months from now, it’s easy to slack off in because the deadline seems so far away. With the 12 Week Year you set 2-3 goals for a 12 week period. That’s your year. You celebrate in week 13, and then it’s time for a new year. If you want to know more, check out this podcast from BiggerPockets.
  • Real Estate Rockstars Podcast with Tarek El Moussa – this podcast is from a year ago, but I’m just now listened to it. Tarek is the host of a couple of HGTV shows. I enjoy his shows, but I didn’t know his story.

The State of Real Estate

When the middle of March rolled around, I remember thinking, “I’m sure glad that I had a better than normal winter, because the rest of 2020 is going to be rough for real estate.”

At the time, none of us could have predicted how great the real estate market would turn out to be for 2020. According to Memphis Area Association of Realtors (MAAR), the average sales price in November 2020 was up almost 11 % from the year before.

There are several reasons for this.

First, record low interest rates. If you purchased or refinanced your home this year, you know what I’m talking about. And rates have continued to get better…they hit another record low this week!

Second, folks wanted more space. For the past ten months, our homes have become not simply homes but also offices and schools. We’ve been together A LOT, and we’ve found that we could use a little more space. This is why many have fled their expensive cities and small apartments. I’m looking at you San Francisco and NYC.

Finally, there’s a supply and demand issue. Inventory is down, which has led to lots of multiple offer situations and homes going over list price. It continues to be a seller’s market, which means that prices are going up.

How has all of this impacted me personally? I mentioned at the beginning of this post about my fears that this was going to be a rough year for real estate. Surprise, surprise, though…it ended up being my best year ever as an agent, with just under $4.5 million in sales. Who knew?

So what is ahead for 2021? I continue to be bullish on real estate, especially in Memphis. Compared to other cities, Memphis is still one of the most affordable places to live. I will continue to help clients buy and sell real estate, and I plan to be a buyer as well.

In 2020 we purchased six properties, but for the first time in awhile we didn’t sell any of them. We decided to keep them all as long-term rentals. We hope to buy a few more in 2021, but this year we plan on selling at least one. We’ve just begun a renovation project in my neighborhood (Annesdale-Snowden). It’s a 4BR/2.5BA home (w/ separate office and bonus room) built in 1900. It’s going to be a fun project, and it will make a great home for whoever buys it. 2021 will also mark our entrance into new construction. For the past few years we’ve been buying vacant lots in midtown, and we just broke ground on our first build in Vollintine-Evergreen.

I’m grateful for those who have given me the opportunity to help them buy or sell a home. If you are in the market to do the same, I’d love to help you! Feel free to check out my Zillow site to read more about me as well as reviews from my clients.