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Robert Grisham Posts

Three Things You Need to be Happy

A few weeks ago I read a great post from the fine folks at Millennial Revolution. The post was called “Is FIRE for Everyone?” FIRE stands for Financial Independence Retire Early. In the post she shared about a few people who had retired early but then had gone back to work due to boredom, loneliness and depression. She shared that she had recently read a book that talked about three things that you need in order to be happy. Those three things are…

1. Security
2. Satisfaction
3. Social

Security means you have enough money that you don’t have to worry about it. Satisfaction is what you get when the way you spend your day makes you happy and brings meaning and fulfillment. Social means that you have good friends.

She said that for those who retire early, obviously #1 is happening. The other two, however, are a bit trickier. For a lot of us, these two things are tied to our work, and when we’re no longer working, it can be difficult to find alternatives; hence the boredom, loneliness and depression.

I have not retired, though two years ago I did retire from my first career of being a pastor. Taking a job off the table gave me more time to focus on my business and investments, and that has in turn led to us being in a good place as far as #1 Security goes. But it’s also meant that these second two things have been tough.

My twenties and thirties were defined by passion. Our two moves across the country and then starting a church from scratch were fueled by passion. There were always lots of things missing in my life, but passion was always there. Though there were some negatives over being driven almost solely by passion, overall it led to some good things. Now that I’m out of vocational ministry, I’ve wondered what I’m passionate about. I love real estate. I love helping people buy and sell homes, and I love breathing life into old homes through the renovations we do. But it’s not the same kind of passion. So I’m in the process of thinking through those areas where I want to invest some time.

As far as this final piece, it’s tough to gauge that when we’re six months into various degrees of quarantine. Community is so different from what it was. I think we’re all having to figure what levels of social interaction we need to be healthy. There are probably some things we’ve been fine giving up; other things not so much.

The Hidden Value of Time

Over the last couple of years, as my schedule has had more consistent openings in it and I’ve begun to learn how to adjust to fewer things on my plate, I’ve begun to learn about the hidden value of time. I’ve learned that when I create space in my day, I begin to create space in my mind. And when space is created in my mind, I miss fewer opportunities. I think back over the past five years on those houses I missed out on buying because I was too busy to jump on them. Too busy doing good things, but too busy nonetheless.

Over the past couple of days I’ve been working on refinancing two of my rental properties. These are the kinds of things that often get overlooked because they take a lot of time. But because I had some margin I was able to work on them. Here’s the result. These two refinances are going to save me over $100,000 in interest. I go from 25 and 30 years to both being paid off in 15. Hence the $100k interest savings. That’s a big deal.

What are you missing out on because your schedule is too crammed?

Weekly Breakfasts

Below is a post I wrote two years ago about my weekly breakfasts with Adam. Now that Micah is in 6th grade, it’s time to begin this tradition with him. Prior to this semester I was not sure how I was going to have the same weekly times with Micah since he and Mandy normally leave early to get to school. But with virtual learning from home, I now have time.

Last night I asked Micah if he would like to go to breakfast with me this morning. A smile quickly formed on his face. I decided that we would read the same book that I had read that first year with Adam. This morning I went to wake him up a little before 7:30. He was up and dressed quickly, and off we went to Midtown Donut (did you think he would pick a different place!). After getting our food we headed to Overton Park, where we found a picnic table and enjoyed some quality time together.

When we got there he told me that he had a bad dream last night. In the dream he was rude to me, so I told him we wouldn’t go to breakfast. He was so sad. This morning he woke up and thought it was real, but then I came in to get him up and he knew it was ok. He’s such a sweet boy.

For more on the why of this weekly tradition, check out this blog post from two years ago…

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When Adam entered 6th grade I decided to begin a new tradition with him. I decided that I would take him out for breakfast once a week before school, and during that time I would take some intentional steps in helping him move from boyhood to manhood. We have been blessed to have good schools for our boys, but we know that there are some subjects that our education system is unable to tackle. That’s where we as parents come in. 

We go to different places each week, but our favorite is Barksdale. Adam likes tradition, and our waiter knows what we want as soon as we walk in. We love that place.

The first year we read a book together on the topic of manhood. Last year we continued the tradition, and our focus was on memorizing Scripture. This year we’re reading another book together, but we’re also talking about money. When Adam turned 11 Mandy and I opened a car fund savings account for him. We told him that when he was ready to buy a car, we would match whatever he wants to spend. Let me tell you…the kid caught on to this. He’s a natural saver, and I’m a bit worried about what he’s going to want to buy in a few years!

This summer he got his first real job helping to teach swim lessons. He did a great job, and I think he really enjoyed it. A few weeks ago I talked to him about the power of compound interest, explaining what $500 could look like 40 years from now. It’s a little over $20k. Here’s the crazy thing. Hold it for another 10 years and it comes close to tripling! He was pretty amazed. So he took his taxable income from his summer job and we opened a Roth IRA for him.  Can we say Proud Dad Moment!

I’ve always known that I wanted to take an active role in the formation of my kids. I believe that there is a unique role that dads play in this task. Like every other man I know though, my biggest obstacle was myself. I didn’t know how to do it. Fearing that this would lead to never doing anything because I didn’t have the perfect plan, I mustered up the courage to do one breakfast. The next week Adam asked if we could do it again. And then he did it again the next week. He’s grown to love the routine, and you better believe that I’m going to maximize this for as long as he wants to do it.

Ten Years as a Real Estate Agent

In August, 2010, after almost three weeks of classes and a licensing exam, I became a real estate agent. In the five years prior to that I had dabbled in the real estate world, from buying my first rental properties to working in the mortgage industry to working for my now partner Rob Thompson helping him to find properties to buy.

One day Rob asked me, “Have you thought about getting your real estate license?” For some reason I really hadn’t, but that day I started thinking about it, and several months later I took the plunge. Since that time, I’ve closed on $23 million worth of real estate over the course of 160 closings!

I love real estate. While it started out as way to supplement my income as a pastor, it’s grown into a real business. It has allowed us to accomplish so many goals, such as the flexibility for me to work from home and therefore take on more responsibilities with the house and the kids. It’s also given us the means and the flexibility to travel, which is something that our whole family enjoys.

I’ve had amazing clients during these ten years, and it’s been my joy to assist them in buying or selling their home. Here’s to ten more years!

If you’d like to learn more about my business, see some of the homes I’ve helped clients buy or sell, or read some reviews, feel free to check out my Zillow page.

Smoked Pork Tenderloin

One of my favorite things to do is to cook. I’m not sure when I first began to find this enjoyable, but a glass of wine, some good music, and a new recipe is a “recipe” for a good evening. From time to time I’ll post some of my favorite recipes on this blog. These are my go to’s, and I’ve found myself doing them even more during quarantine.

First up…smoked pork tenderloin.

These come two in a pack at most grocery stores. I prefer them over pork loin. There’s nothing to do other than take them out of their packaging, dry them off, and apply a rub.

My favorite rub comes from the book Smokin’ with Myron Mixon. It’s his Basic Barbecue Rub. It calls for the following ingredients…

1 cup light brown sugar
2 tbsp chili powder
2 tbsp dry mustard
2 tbsp onion powder
2 tbsp garlic powder
1 tbsp cayenne pepper (less if preferred)
2 tbsp kosher salt
2 tbsp ground black pepper

Simply apply the rub to the tenderloins. Whatever you don’t use, just put it in an airtight container for next time. I’ve found that this recipe provides rub for around eight tenderloins.

You then refrigerator overnight.

There are different types of smokers. I use a Masterbuilt Electric Smoker. Here is the newer model of the one I have.

I smoke these at 225 degrees for 1-1.5 hours.

These are great with cheese on a hawaiian roll.

The Benefits of Manual Labor

One morning last week I got up early and weeded the flower bed. Then I got the weedeater out and trimmed the alley. It was early, but I was still sweating so much. But it made me feel good. This is my land. It’s my flower garden with herbs that smell so good and are so great to cook with. And during that time I wasn’t faced with my normal work, which allowed for some much needed space.

Last Friday night I didn’t sleep well. It had been a long week, and I thought I would sleep so well. Instead, I woke up at 2am and never went back to sleep. So by the time Saturday afternoon rolled around I was pretty tired. So I decided to move both vehicles into our back yard where there’s more shade, and then for two hours while listening go some good music, I cleaned them out, vacuumed them, and washed them. Again, much sweat. But it felt good to to work hard and to know that I was taking care of the things that I have.

I wouldn’t normally think that work like this fills my tank, but it truly did.

The Power of Inputs Pt.2

It has been three months since I wrote that post on Facebook. For the next week or so after writing that I sought to do something each day that made me happy. I knew that things were weird because of the pandemic, and that was going to have an impact on me. Remember what a scary chore it was to get groceries those first few weeks!

As helpful as those inputs were then, I’ve found that they’re even more important when the pace picks back up. As I mentioned a few days ago, I’m busier with work than I have been in a long time. And as great as that is, I haven’t been taking care of myself very well, and I find myself a bit burned out. I’m reminded that when things get hectic, it’s even more important that I say yes to the right things. It’s so important that I make time to do the things that truly fill my tank.

As I write this I’m on a 24 hour personal retreat. I began doing quarterly retreats years ago. They have become part of my routine, but I haven’t done one in awhile. It’s something I’ve missed. A retreat for me is about quiet and solitude. It’s a time that I go back to my journals and practice the discipline of reflection. It’s a time that I normally do some long-range dreaming and planning. And in the case of this retreat, it’s a time that I wanted to do some writing.

A few years ago I went on a bike ride, and I didn’t bother to take the time to check the air pressure on my tires. After all, they looked fine to me. If you’ve ever made this mistake, you know that my ride was way more work than it should have been. I learned that day that properly filled tires make for a fun ride.

I’ve learned through the years that my work can be rooted in rest or it can be rooted in striving. The results at first may be hard to distinguish, but over time it becomes clear. And much of it is determined by the current state of my soul. There are intentional things I can do that restore my soul just as there are things I can do that can deplete my soul. When my soul is depleted, it’s kind of like riding a bike with under-inflated tires. On the surface things look ok, but inside they’re not. And the problem is that you don’t know there is a problem until later. It wasn’t until I was on the last leg of my bike ride that I realized I was working way harder than I should have. It dawned on me then that I should have checked the tire pressure. That last leg was no fun to ride, but you better believe that every time since I’ve checked those tires.

So now I’m in the place where the pace is hectic. I’m juggling a lot of clients, we’re trying to make decisions as a family what school is going to look like, and Mandy is nervous about going back to the classroom. The pandemic and quarantine have impacted me just like they’ve impacted everyone else. In the midst of all of this, how will I care for my soul? What intentional practices will I do that all me to not simply survive but thrive during this time? These are key questions for a time such as this one.

The Power of Inputs

About a week into quarantine I wrote a post on Facebook about the power of inputs. Here’s that post.

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I’ve been thinking a lot lately about inputs. In normal life we do a lot of outputting. We struggle with inputs. When I say inputs I’m referring to putting things in that refuel you. It’s beauty and knowledge; it’s things that remind you to slow down and breathe deeply; it’s things that cause your passions to stir.

When we are in our normal running and gunning, it seems that we are often running on fumes, and the inputs we do allow ourselves often don’t really fill our tanks. Another way of saying that is that we choose the wrong inputs.

So now we find ourselves in a place where, for perhaps the first time in our lives, we are no longer running and gunning. We have more time on our hands than normal, which means that we have more time for inputs than normal. That is good, but it’s still important to gauge what inputs actually do the job.

When so much of the news is producing in us anxiety more than anything else, is it a healthy input? If so, would a good discipline be to only read the news once or twice a day? This applies to sites like the NY Times, Daily Memphian, or CNN, but also to Facebook or Twitter.

How about tv and movies? It’s a great opportunity to catch up on some shows (our family is watching the Marvel movies), but at what point does it no longer fill our tanks and instead produce in us something negative?

These are the two areas I’ve been thinking the most about. Maybe there are other areas that for you deserve the questions.

Once I’m asking those questions, I need to ask the next set of questions…What inputs do fill my tank, fight anxiety, and cause true rest?

Here are some things that have been helpful to me…

Reading a novel
Researching a new topic
Reading Scripture
Reading a book on a topic that relates to your field of work
Reading a magazine
Cooking a new recipe
Praying/meditating
Taking a walk while listening to music
Taking a walk while listening to a podcast (not news or politics-related)
Taking a walk while not listening to anything (what a concept!)
Speaking of music, finding a new artist to listen to
Taking a virtual tour of a museum (lots of museums throughout the world are offering these)
Taking a nap
Going for a hike
Going for a bike ride
Doing yoga
Gardening
Catching up with an old friend via phone or FaceTime
Writing in a journal
Brainstorming with others ways to help those who are struggling
Reading through your old journals (this is one of my favorite activities)

In summary, inputs are good, and it’s a positive thing that in the days, weeks, and perhaps months ahead of us, we have more time for inputs than normal. The tricky thing is that not all inputs produce in us what we’re hoping for and what we truly need. So the great need for us is to choose wisely what inputs we’re taking in.

How am I really doing?

Whew, the last few weeks have been a whirlwind. It was the middle of March when our quarantine began. Life for me suddenly slowed down. And it stayed at this lovely new pace for close to three months. Towards the end of that time I decided that I wanted to begin writing again (see previous post). So a friend helped me get things set up, and I was off and running. Or so I thought.

Since then, things have been hectic. I have never been as busy as I am right now with real estate. Who knew it would take a pandemic to get to that point. But as great as the business has been, I also recognize that I haven’t been this close to burnout in quite awhile. And when I’ve gotten to this place before, I take it serious. I’m no good to anyone when I’m burned out.

Over the next few posts I’m going to share some things I’ve been learning about health and pace and happiness.

Time to start writing again

I started my first blog almost 16 years ago. There was a time during those years that I wrote a lot. But over the past decade that slowed. Much of that was due to the fact everything else in my life was moving faster: young kids, pastoring a church, and starting a business. My writing during those years came primarily through writing sermons.

Now that I’m no longer doing much of that, I’ve begun to miss writing, and so I’ve decided to come back to my blog. My plan is to write on topics that interest me. That means I’ll be writing about spirituality, real estate, money, music, cooking, travel, and in general the things I find interesting.