Robert Grisham -

Life Design 101

Published by on January 26, 2021

A few months ago I was listening to a BiggerPockets podcast featuring Tarl Yarber. It was a great podcast for a number of reasons, but there was one line in it that stood out most. He was quoting a friend of his (Thatch Nguyen) when he said, “Most people build their business and then work to fit their life into it. Instead, why don’t you decide what kind of life you want to live, and then design your business to fit that lifestyle?”

Mic drop

I realized in that moment that I so resonated with this statement because it’s something I’ve been attempting to do for the last few years. I just didn’t have to vocabulary yet to describe it.

I first started thinking about life design a few years ago when I was debating stepping down as pastor of the church I had started a decade earlier. This was a difficult decision, but I knew that I wasn’t the healthiest version of myself. I was doing too much, and I was burned out. At the time I was making the decision, Adam was getting ready to enter the 8th grade, and I knew that I had five years before he went to college. I recognized that these last five years are pretty crucial, and I therefore knew that it was pretty crucial that I be healthy. I didn’t want to be a spectator for these years. I wanted to be present and active. Right then and there, I knew that my primary focus needed to be on my family.

This realization then caused me to ask the question, “So what do I want these five years to look like?” But I then recognized that there’s another question to ask before I asked this one? It’s this: “What do my sons need from me before they leave my house?” That’s a big question, and one that I needed to spend some time with.

At the end of the day, I thought about things in terms of time. Five years would pass quickly. And then another four would pass and Micah would be in college. Time was the most precious commodity. And I thought about time in terms of both quantity and quality. Both are important. When it comes to quality, it was less about me planning creative things for my kids and more about me being healthy so that I could give my best, not simply my left-overs. And side note…when it comes to quantity, I’m reminded that this pandemic has given me SO much more time with family than I could have ever planned for. And though at times this has been challenging, I’m very grateful for it.

I knew that I needed to spend some time developing a vision for my life. We are all taught to develop a vision for our business or organization, but rarely do we spend time developing one for our personal lives. How strange that is when you really think about it!

All of this thinking then led to a series of questions (side note – I love questions, as I find that one question leads to another question, often a deeper and more important question):

What does the culture say leads to happiness/prosperity? In what ways do I agree with this, and in what ways do I disagree?
What does a happy/successful/content/prosperous life look like?
If I had all the time in the world, how would I spend it?
Which is more important to me: more time or more money?
What does our family enjoy doing?
How much money do I need to make each year?
How many hours do I need to work in order to make that much money?
What does my ideal week look like?
Since Mandy has a more traditional work schedule, what is the value of a flexible schedule?
What makes me happy?

It’s been almost two and a half years since I made the difficult decision to leave vocational ministry. More than anything else, this was a life design decision. In order for my life to work the way I wanted it to work, I had to give some things up. This was one of them. As hard as it was to quit doing something that I had spent the previous two decades doing (and planning to do), it was the right decision. Asking these questions, and then making this decision, has led to a different kind of life. Stress has been at an all time low these last two years, I’ve recovered from burnout, and as a result I’m a healthier me.

Besides being more present for my family, I’ve also seen my business prosper as a result. And it wasn’t just about having more time. It was also about having more mental and emotional margin. I’ve written about this before, but I will say it again: margin often means that I see and take hold of opportunities that could be easily missed if it weren’t there.

Over the coming weeks I’m going to write at least a couple more posts dealing with what I’ve been learning about life design.

Pt. 2: Rest and Responsibility
Pt. 3: Scaling vs. Simplicity
Pt. 4: Life Design – a theological perspective

What I’m Learning

Published by on January 15, 2021

I’m starting a new blog series highlighting some of the things I’m learning. I’ve discovered that as an Enneagram 7 I move to Enneagram 5 in health. I love going deep with a topic that fascinates me. That happened with this first one in particular.

1996 Mt. Everest Disaster – I finished reading Jon Krakauer’s Into Thin Air. I also read several articles and watched a documentary, a reality series and the 2015 movie. It’s a tragic story.
Lifeonaire, by Steve Cook – I read this book in 2 days. It’s a fable, which means that at times it’s a bit corny. But it’s a great book about life design. I’m working on a blog series on life design. It’s a topic that has been deeply impacting me. This book helps you to ask some very important questions.
The 12 Week Year, by Brian Moran – I first read this book a couple of years ago, but I decided to revisit it in the last couple of weeks. It makes such great sense that when we set goals that are to be fully accomplished 12 months from now, it’s easy to slack off in because the deadline seems so far away. With the 12 Week Year you set 2-3 goals for a 12 week period. That’s your year. You celebrate in week 13, and then it’s time for a new year. If you want to know more, check out this podcast from BiggerPockets.
Real Estate Rockstars Podcast with Tarek El Moussa – this podcast is from a year ago, but I’m just now listened to it. Tarek is the host of a couple of HGTV shows. I enjoy his shows, but I didn’t know his story.

The State of Real Estate

Published by on January 8, 2021

When the middle of March rolled around, I remember thinking, “I’m sure glad that I had a better than normal winter, because the rest of 2020 is going to be rough for real estate.”

At the time, none of us could have predicted how great the real estate market would turn out to be for 2020. According to Memphis Area Association of Realtors (MAAR), the average sales price in November 2020 was up almost 11 % from the year before.

There are several reasons for this.

First, record low interest rates. If you purchased or refinanced your home this year, you know what I’m talking about. And rates have continued to get better…they hit another record low this week!

Second, folks wanted more space. For the past ten months, our homes have become not simply homes but also offices and schools. We’ve been together A LOT, and we’ve found that we could use a little more space. This is why many have fled their expensive cities and small apartments. I’m looking at you San Francisco and NYC.

Finally, there’s a supply and demand issue. Inventory is down, which has led to lots of multiple offer situations and homes going over list price. It continues to be a seller’s market, which means that prices are going up.

How has all of this impacted me personally? I mentioned at the beginning of this post about my fears that this was going to be a rough year for real estate. Surprise, surprise, though…it ended up being my best year ever as an agent, with just under $4.5 million in sales. Who knew?

So what is ahead for 2021? I continue to be bullish on real estate, especially in Memphis. Compared to other cities, Memphis is still one of the most affordable places to live. I will continue to help clients buy and sell real estate, and I plan to be a buyer as well.

In 2020 we purchased six properties, but for the first time in awhile we didn’t sell any of them. We decided to keep them all as long-term rentals. We hope to buy a few more in 2021, but this year we plan on selling at least one. We’ve just begun a renovation project in my neighborhood (Annesdale-Snowden). It’s a 4BR/2.5BA home (w/ separate office and bonus room) built in 1900. It’s going to be a fun project, and it will make a great home for whoever buys it. 2021 will also mark our entrance into new construction. For the past few years we’ve been buying vacant lots in midtown, and we just broke ground on our first build in Vollintine-Evergreen.

I’m grateful for those who have given me the opportunity to help them buy or sell a home. If you are in the market to do the same, I’d love to help you! Feel free to check out my Zillow site to read more about me as well as reviews from my clients.

Favorite Books for 2020

Published by on December 23, 2020

I set a goal to read 40 books this year. As of today I’m at 43. Of those 43 books, here are some of my favorites.

First up, a couple of finance books.

Quit Like a Millionaire – Kristy Shen
Kristy Shen writes at Millennial Revolution. She and her husband are some of my favorite writers in the FIRE community. So many great nuggets gained from this book. Note: I just noticed that the Kindle version is only $4.99.

The Path, by Peter Mallouk & Tony Robbins
This is a follow up to their book Unshakeable, which was also a great read. The opening paragraph in chapter 1 gives a great synopsis of the book. Robbins writes, “We all want to be truly free. Free to do more of what we want, when we want, and share it with those we love. Free to live with passion, with generosity, with gratitude, and with peace of mind. This is financial freedom, It’s not an amount of money; it’s a state of mind.”

Next up is four books I’d classify under the spirituality category…

Life Without Lack – Dallas Willard
Psalm 23 has always been one of my favorite Psalms, and this book is Dallas Willard’s take on it. It’s fantastic.

Even in Our Darkness – Jack Deere
I have never read such an honest memoir. I’ll leave it at that. I think it’s the first book I’ve ever read in one day.

Get Your Life Back – John Eldredge
The subtitle is Everyday Practices for a World Gone Mad. I found it to be a very practical and helpful book.

Stillness is the Key – Ryan Holiday
This is a book that I’d like to read again this year. Holiday has so many good stories in this book.

Next up, some fiction.

The End of October – Lawrence Wright
This book came out in April. It’s the story of a global pandemic. Thankfully its impact was far worse than what it seems our ending with COVID will be.

Tell No One – Harlan Coben
I had never read anything by him prior to October, 2020. I read seven of his novels over the past two months. I love discovering new authors!

Finally, three non-fiction works.

Talking to Strangers – Malcolm Gladwell
This was my favorite audiobook, and it’s a book I plan to read again.

Bitcoin Billionaires – Ben Mezrich
Mezrich also wrote The Accidental Billionaires, which was later turned into the movie The Social Network. It’s in some ways a follow up, in that it focuses on the Winkelvoss twins venture into bitcoin.

Don’t Know Much about History – Kenneth Davis
I actually came across this book when I was researching books that every high school student should read (since I have a high schooler). This was on one of the lists. I actually haven’t finished it, but that’s the beauty of a book like this. You can jump around to various chapters in our history. It’s very well written.

What’s Better than Free Travel?

Published by on December 11, 2020

The answer is…”not much.”

I love travel. I’ve missed not being able to travel over these last nine months, and by the time we’re able to travel again, it’s going to be well over a year.

A couple of years ago I got into travel hacking, which is basically just using credit cards to accumulate points towards free travel. A year ago I wrote a couple of posts on my old blog about what I was learning. You can check those out here if you’d like. It culminated in $8000 worth of travel to California and Hawaii for under $1000. Or at least it was supposed to culminate in that. COVID meant that trip was cancelled.

The good news is that I was able to get all of those points back, and then just sit back and wait until we could once again travel.

Southwest released their summer flights yesterday, and I was ready to pounce. I booked two awesome trips, and I thought I would lay out my process here.

The first trip I booked was a five night trip for Mandy and I to a Hilton all inclusive resort in Playa del Carmen. Using points that we had accumulated from using the AMEX Hilton credit cards, we paid 71,000 points per night, and the great thing with using points in Hilton’s system is that if you book four nights, you get the fifth free. So for 284,000 points and no fees, we’re staying there for five nights.

For airfare, we went with Southwest. Two years ago we qualified for the Southwest Companion pass after opening up two cards. We were supposed to be able to use the companion pass for two years, with it expiring at the end of 2020. Fortunately Southwest extended the expiration through June 30, 2020. So we booked one ticket for me for 27,000 Southwest points, and Mandy flies free (no points required due to the Companion Pass). There are fees/taxes when you book with points, and those fees/taxes jump when going international, so our all in total spent on this flight was $180.

The second trip I booked was two nights in Chicago for the whole family (I guess we need to include our kids a bit, right!). Non-stop flights to Chicago were 5700 points each way, so I spent a bit under 35,000 points for the boys and I to fly, and then used the companion pass for Mandy.

As for lodging, Mandy and I both had a free night due to having Hilton American Express cards. These were set to expire at the end of August, so we were trying to figure out the best way to use them. We opted for the Waldorf Astoria in Chicago. This bad boy goes for almost $500/night.

So here’s how the numbers break down…

Playa del Carmen Trip:
Two round trip tickets from Memphis to Cancun: $914.12
Five nights at the Hilton Playa del Carmen: $1799.35
Total: $2713.47
Actual amount spent: $180

Chicago Trip:
Four non-stop round trip tickets from Memphis to Chicago Midway: $671.84
Two nights at the Waldorf Astoria: $1113.73
Total: $1785.57
Actual amount spent: $33.60

So $4500 worth of travel for $214. I have to say that I’m pretty excited by that math!

Here’s the thing…this is doable for anyone. I have a business renovating houses which means that I might have more expenses than people who don’t, but it’s not necessary for travel hacking. I just put every possible bill and expense on whichever credit card I’m using at the moment. I wrote more on this in the already linked to blog posts, so I won’t repeat myself here.

If you’d like a place to begin, though, I recommend getting the Chase Sapphire Preferred card. It has a $95 annual fee. This is the card that I will probably never get rid of. Unless we have just gotten a new card and need to reach a certain spending to get the bonus, this is the card that we use for most purchases. The current promotion is that if you spend $4000 during the first three months, you get 100,000 Chase Ultimate Reward points. That’s good for $1250 worth of travel if redeemed through the Chase portal. These points can also be transferred 1:1 on a lot of partner sites, including Southwest. There are some other great perks with this card, one of which currently is a free DashPass membership from DoorDash.

Here is the link to sign up for a Chase Sapphire Preferred card. I have this here as a help to you, but Chase appreciates the referral so much that they give me some points. Yay!

The other card I would recommend at the moment is a Hilton Honors AMEX card. I love Hilton hotels, and getting one or two of these cards is a great way to get some awesome free travel. Here is a link that will take you to an option to choose between three cards. The link (which again, benefits both of us, so I’d truly appreciate you using if you’re going to apply!) will take you to one of the cards, but if you will select View all Cards with a Referral Offer at the top left of the screen, you’ll be taken to all three options. Here’s the breakdown.

Hilton Honors
100,000 points after spending $1000 during first three months
No annual fee
Complementary Silver status

Hilton Surpass
150,000 points after spending $3000 during first three months
$95 annual fee
Complementary Gold status
Free weekend night after you spend $15,000

Hilton Aspire
150,000 points after spending $4000 during first three months
$495 annual fee
Complementary Diamond status
$250 Hilton Resort Credit

Mandy had the Aspire card last year, and I had the Surpass card. At the time the bonuses were different. At this point the Aspire is probably not worth the high annual fee. Now I would go with the no annual fee one or the Surpass.

One last thing…there’s a good chance that getting on a plane won’t be the smartest move come June. The good news is that these trips are easy to cancel. Trips purchased with points are normally easier than those purchased with cash. One of the big reasons we booked these is that we had lots of time to cancel if needed.

I hope this is helpful, and if not, watch the video below and you’ll at least get a chuckle out of it. . Here’s to getting back to travel soon!

Whose Side is God On?

Published by on November 13, 2020

I first came across the following prayer a little over a decade ago in a book by Alan Hirsch and Michael Frost.

Oh God, our Heavenly Guide, as finite creatures of time and as dependent creatures of Thine, we acknowledge Thee as our sovereign Lord. Permit freedom and the joys thereof to forever reign throughout our land. May we as ________ forever have the courage of our convictions that we may always stand for Thee and our great nation. May the sweet cup of brotherly fraternity ever be ours to enjoy and build within us that kindred spirit which will keep us unified and strong. Engender within us that wisdom kindred to honorable decisions and the Godly work. By the power of Thy infinite spirit and the energizing virtue therein, ever keep before us our oaths of secrecy and pledges of righteousness. Bless us now in this assembly that we may honor Thee in all things, we pray in the name of Christ, our blessed Savior. Amen.

The blank is there because I wanted you to read this prayer in its entirety before knowing who the person was who was doing the praying. This prayer was prayed on June 7, 1964 at Boykins Methodist Church in Raleigh, MS. The person praying was Sam Bowers. This was a gathering of the Ku Klux Klan of Mississippi, and Mr. Bowers just so happened to be the Imperial Wizard (the fill in the blank word is “klansmen”).

I share this story because Mr. Bowers believed that what he was doing was ordained by God. He believed, in a sense, that he was on God’s side, which meant that those who opposed him were on a different side. It’s been almost six decades since this, and in that time most humans today would say that his theology was quite warped.

There is a real danger in presuming that you are on the side of God. In fact, during Jesus’ three years of public ministry, his harshest words were directed to the religious leaders who thought they were right and everyone else was wrong. The Kingdom he preached and ushered in is often called an upside-down kingdom. Over and over again he said that those who think they’re in might not be in, and those who never thought they had a shot are probably closer than they realize.

I have been so disheartened and frustrated over the last few days because of the response I’ve heard from evangelicals. It’s one thing to choose a political side because you line up with its values more than those found on the other side. And it’s perfectly understandable to then be disappointed when your candidate doesn’t win. It’s an entirely different thing to assume that God has also chosen that side.

In the past week I have heard people I have known and respected throwing out a lot of end times jargon. I’ve definitely heard more talk about the antichrist than normal. I fear that these folks are getting more militant by the day. I’ve also heard people talk about the fact that God is still on his throne despite the fact that their candidate lost. I have a great deal more respect for these people, but I feel that it too makes a dangerous assumption.

It’s not my intent to offend those who think differently from me. I write this because my greatest concern is that this behavior creates an unnecessary stumbling block for those who aren’t quite sure what they believe about God. And I once again think back to Jesus’ harsh words to those who prevent others from getting near him.

Over the years I’ve done some study on the roots and history of evangelicalism. What marked evangelicals in the beginning was a high regard for Scripture, the belief that our need for true heart change comes not from ourselves but from something outside of ourselves, the belief that that “something” was Jesus’ life, death and resurrection, and the belief that the fruit of this change is to be a part of God’s redemptive work.

If these were still the marks of evangelicalism, I could wholeheartedly get behind them. But they’re not. A fifth mark of conservatism has been added, and I feel, at least in a frenzied election season (which actually seems to never end) that it has become primary. And the problem is that as it becomes primary, these other marks naturally fade.

Going back to Jesus, here’s a troubling thought: those who most thought about and longed for the Messiah’s coming were also those who most missed it.

Even as I write that, I do not primarily point my finger at others. I know that I am guilty of missing it as well. It is my human nature to desire to craft God in my image. Even as I write this, I recognize that some of my thoughts and words stem from my frustration and sadness. My hope is that I daily seek to walk in humility and am quick to acknowledge those areas in which I fall short.

One of my favorite quotes comes from N.T. Wright. He says…

There’s something that I think I’m right about that I’m actually wrong about, and I’m not sure what that is.

I pray that I never grow beyond this.

Jesus often uttered the phrase, “He who has ears to hear, let them hear.” He did this because he knew that there would be many who would miss what he was doing. I pray that our hearts and minds would be open, and that we too would have ears to hear.

Robbinsville, NC

Published by on October 20, 2020

Like many others, our fall trip plans changed due to COVID. We were originally planning on going back to Bar Harbor, Maine, but a few months ago we decided that we were going to have to cancel that trip. Shortly after some friends went to Maggie Valley, NC. Their photos were amazing, so we decided to book a trip there. Plans changed again due to schedules and we had to cancel that one. Finally, with just a few weeks to go before Adam’s fall break, we booked a AirBnb in Robbinsville. The only thing I knew about Robbinsville was that the Avett Brothers had recorded an album there. We didn’t know what to expect, but after a week there, we feel that we’ve found another gem.

It was nice to be able to do a road trip, and to take Bella with us. It’s only around 7 hours from Memphis.

Here are a few photos from our favorite spots…

The view we had everyday from our AirBnb

One of our favorite moments was while we were eating a great dinner at the Tapoco Lodge. I was looking through a magazine and came across this photo. I told the boys, “this will be your mom and dad in a few years.” Then Micah, without missing a beat and while pointing to the young fella to the right, said, “and that’s going to be me.” We all laughed so much because we could see that being true at some point.

On our last day we decided to head home a different way so that we could go to Fall Creek Falls. Twenty-two years ago to that day I proposed to Mandy. We had not been back since. We’re not sure if we found the exact spot, but it was good to be back, and it was great to be able to invite the boys into this part of our story.

All in all, an incredible trip to an incredible place. We will return!

My Backyard Office

Published by on October 14, 2020

This was originally posted on April 26, 2019…

In January I came across a couple of posts by Mr. Money Mustache (here and here) about buildings that he had constructed. As I read these articles, I found myself starting to desire to build a home office for myself.

There were a couple of initial reasons. First, now that I am doing real estate full-time and don’t have any plans to stop, I know that I’m going to be working from home for the foreseeable future. This has been working for me for some time, though it gets a bit tricky in the summer when everyone is home. Second, I have a little more time on my hands than in the past, and I thought it would be fun to take on a physical project. I have learned over the years that I am not a “measure twice, cut once” kind of guy. That’s just not in my DNA. So I stick with the things that I’m good at, but at the same time, I have a desire to grow in this area.

After reading quite a bit over a couple of days, I pitched the idea to Mandy. I wasn’t sure what she would say. She loved my two reasons but added a third. Adam is about to be in high school, and he and Micah have always shared a bedroom, and she thought it might be nice for them to have their own rooms. She suggested that I build something for me, and then Adam take the bedroom that is my current office.

And there it was. We were on the same page way quicker than I thought we would be. As I researched, I quickly came to the conclusion that it would not be a wise move for me to try to build something from scratch. Again, the “measure twice, cut once” is really important for that kind of work. So I went to Probuilt of Memphis to look for a shed. I decided that my best bet would be to hire someone to build a 20×12 shed, and then I would finish the interior.

First we had to demo the existing shed. Then we had to make sure water wouldn’t build up under the new shed. We also had to get new fencing since the existing building’s had served as the fence.

On Monday, March 18 two guys from Probuilt Memphis showed up to build my shed. The only thing they had built in advance were the roof trusses. By 3:00 on Tuesday the shed was completed. I was blown away at how good these guys were. We had them build a wall to divide the building into two parts. I still needed a place for the mower and other tools, so six of the twenty feet is shed. The ceiling is lower on this part, which allowed for a loft in the office portion for storage. So glad we did that. And they built shelves in the shed portion.

The next day the electrical rough-in took place, and the day after that, we had closed cell spray foam insulation installed. Then the drywall went up.

On Saturday the entire family painted the exterior. Once the drywall was finished, I painted the interior. Then I laid this vinyl plank flooring from Home Depot, and finally I had a carpenter install the heat and air unit and install the trim and baseboard.

As one who is involved in a lot of construction projects, I’m so pleased with how the project turned out and how quickly it happened. I love my office. Here are a few photos of the finished project.

Chicken Massaman Curry

Published by on October 10, 2020

Bhan Thai is one of my favorite restaurants in Memphis. The fact that it is walking distance from my house is further evidence that God loves me. My favorite dish is their Massaman Curry. Over the last couple of years I’ve tried to copy their recipe but haven’t been successful. The other night I tried a new recipe I found online, and friends, I must tell you that this is pretty close.

If you’re interested, here is the link for the recipe!

Our New House

Published by on October 7, 2020

Ok, so it’s not a new house, but we just did a major makeover of the exterior. I’ve always loved the brickwork on our house, and I knew that I would never paint it. The trim, though…that has needed some love for awhile.

As you can see, the windows needed to be scraped, the door and iron railing had that weathered look that years in the sun give, and overall the house just looked a little tired.

Our friend Lonnie sanded and stained the door, and then Caldwell Painting came and did the rest. We were thrilled with the end results!

Colors used:
Trim – Peppercorn (SW 7674)
Foundation – Acier (SW 9170)
Porch Ceiling – Ewing Blue (CW-585)

Robert Grisham Posts